These are some of the application and leave letters written by various personnel . English, as they say, is really a funny language!
1. A candidate's application "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post."
2. An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one week leave"...
3. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I have to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
4. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school i am suffering from head-ache. I request you to leave me today"
5. A family friend of our's told an incident of his friend's letter "I am ! suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school"
6. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.
7. Another leave letter written to Administration dept: As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.
Friday, April 2, 2010
INDIA THE GREAT !!!
THIS IS FOR YOU!!
INDIA THE GREAT
The population of India is 100 crores.
But 19 crores are retired.
That leaves 81 crores do the work.
There are 25 crores in school,
which leaves 56 crores to do the work.
Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central
Government,
leaving 34 crores to do the work.
4 crores are in the Armed Forces,
which leaves 30 crores to do the work.
Take away from above total the 20 crores people who
work for State Governments (State Government employees
officially do not work!)
and that leaves 10 crores to do the work.
Total unemployed are 8 crores and
that leaves 2 crores to do the work.
At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in
hospitals,
leaving 80 lakhs to do the work.
Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there
are 79,99,998 people in prisons throughout the
country.
That leaves just 2 people to do the work.......
You and me!!!
And currently YOU are sitting at your computer reading
Blogs.
So I am the only person in our country who is working!
And that's why India is surviving!!!
Now, please log out and do your job because, for a
change, I want to rest. And I don't want India to
suffer because of that!
INDIA THE GREAT
The population of India is 100 crores.
But 19 crores are retired.
That leaves 81 crores do the work.
There are 25 crores in school,
which leaves 56 crores to do the work.
Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central
Government,
leaving 34 crores to do the work.
4 crores are in the Armed Forces,
which leaves 30 crores to do the work.
Take away from above total the 20 crores people who
work for State Governments (State Government employees
officially do not work!)
and that leaves 10 crores to do the work.
Total unemployed are 8 crores and
that leaves 2 crores to do the work.
At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in
hospitals,
leaving 80 lakhs to do the work.
Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there
are 79,99,998 people in prisons throughout the
country.
That leaves just 2 people to do the work.......
You and me!!!
And currently YOU are sitting at your computer reading
Blogs.
So I am the only person in our country who is working!
And that's why India is surviving!!!
Now, please log out and do your job because, for a
change, I want to rest. And I don't want India to
suffer because of that!
Santa Singh as a English Teacher !!!
This one is about Santa Singhji... our English lecturer
Santa Singh ji is the English teacher in a school. He is very well renowned, since all his students do very well in exams.
The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the English class. This is what transpires :
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious. He confronts the principal and shouts at him "What is this Santa Singh teaching to students. He is supposed to be taking an English class and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH.
The principle too is shocked, Santa Singh the famous English teacher doing this. He immediately sends for for Santa Singh.
Principal : "Santa singh ji what nonsense are you telling these students, GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".
Santa Singh : "Yes I was telling all this in class, but I was only teaching the students the spellings of "ASSASSINATION".
Santa Singh ji is the English teacher in a school. He is very well renowned, since all his students do very well in exams.
The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the English class. This is what transpires :
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious. He confronts the principal and shouts at him "What is this Santa Singh teaching to students. He is supposed to be taking an English class and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH.
The principle too is shocked, Santa Singh the famous English teacher doing this. He immediately sends for for Santa Singh.
Principal : "Santa singh ji what nonsense are you telling these students, GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".
Santa Singh : "Yes I was telling all this in class, but I was only teaching the students the spellings of "ASSASSINATION".
Everything can be improved
The most essential feature of man is his improvableness. There isn’t a life, a plant or a business on earth that couldn`t stand improvement and be better.Each of us no matter what our task must search for new and better methods.
The process of improvement is an effortful and difficult one. This is because it is conducted against human nature’s inclination to take easy- path by clinging to the old ways of doing things.
Continuous improvement means we often outgrow our own standards what we previously thought were acceptable.
There is no quick and easy formulas to improvement; a man who truly wants to make the world better should start by improving himself and his attitudes. It comes through learning, participating in learning events, trainings, discussions, taking new assignments and responsibilities, experimenting or –what ever- that keeps us stretching and growing.
Be an addict to constant and never ending self-improvement.Because, greatness comes; when you improve on the improvements.
Remember, just a slight improvement each day, repeated day after day can lead to spectacular results.
Find it… there is always a better way.
Affirm: everyday; in everyway, I am getting better and better.
Resolve: good,better,best: I shall never let it rest; till my good is better, and my better is the best.
The process of improvement is an effortful and difficult one. This is because it is conducted against human nature’s inclination to take easy- path by clinging to the old ways of doing things.
Continuous improvement means we often outgrow our own standards what we previously thought were acceptable.
There is no quick and easy formulas to improvement; a man who truly wants to make the world better should start by improving himself and his attitudes. It comes through learning, participating in learning events, trainings, discussions, taking new assignments and responsibilities, experimenting or –what ever- that keeps us stretching and growing.
Be an addict to constant and never ending self-improvement.Because, greatness comes; when you improve on the improvements.
Remember, just a slight improvement each day, repeated day after day can lead to spectacular results.
Find it… there is always a better way.
Affirm: everyday; in everyway, I am getting better and better.
Resolve: good,better,best: I shall never let it rest; till my good is better, and my better is the best.
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